Saturday, October 3, 2015

Lucky to be alive? Originally posted December 22, 2010

Decided to delete an old blog started almost 8 years ago. Instead of deleting all posts, I will post many that were needed at different points of my life. Enjoy! 

 December 21, 2010...a day that will be a day I will always remember. I begin my second day on my new temp job doing office work. It has been the same old thing getting used to how another company does things. The weather has been interesting, with constant rain for days. I live in Las Vegas, not Seattle. After leaving work I commute down the streets I drive every day with the intention of getting food, and going to the store. I am ready to make a left turn at the intersection close to where I live very carefully, then I lost traction, immediately tried to gain control, before plowing into the bus stop. I am fine, nobody else was hurt or involved. Yes, a fucking miracle, however, now I have to deal with the damage on my truck, and the clusterfuck drama with my Father. I urge you read my life story for the details. The cliff notes version...I don't really get along with my Father due to verbal abuse my whole life. The reason I am so driven, and independent is because I have to be to survive. I have been constantly brought down by him, and the way things have gone and continue to go in my life. The depression has been so bad for years, I have contemplated suicide, but have found outlets (i.e Sports, Music, entertainment, & NKOTB). I just want to fucking work, get to my dream job or something close, and fucking live my life. I want to stay alive, but with the bullshit I am constantly dealing with, it is very hard to be convinced. I try to live day to day, but with me striving for goals, it's hard not to plan for positivism. I am sick of people in my life making my life more and more complicated. I know life is fair nor easy, but really? Throw me a fucking bone will ya? Am I lucky to be alive? I could go on and on, but I won't!

No comments:

Post a Comment