Saturday, October 3, 2015

Ever Get That Feeling You Don't Belong? Originally posted March 7, 2014

Just another one of those "meh" days, right? You know one of those days where an event, meeting, conversation, visual stimulation, sparks the question, "Ever get the feeling you don't belong?" That day was yesterday, but it has happened on many occasions in the last 8 years.  It could stem from the ultimate lack of a job out of college after moving to another city to ultimately be laid off. Then when trying fix the situation having your roommate who you thought was a good friend, totally turn psycho. I get it, shit happens, and quite frankly you have good and bad days. I also understand that life shouldn't be without it's learning curve, and I may never truly know what I am supposed to do. See when I was elementary school, I wanted to be a Doctor or Lawyer. Fast forward to high school, I was set on being an Electrical Engineer. I enter the University of Arizona as a Pre-Engineering major, only to be discouraged by instructors and professors. I quickly re-evaluate why and how I lost my scholarship, and changed my major to what I have a Bachelor's in now. Yes, I have an OCD (should be CDO) and ADD type personality (traits) as well as suffer from severe anxiety I didn't figure out till 3 years ago. Believe you me, I love encouragement, suggestions, and advice, but I went from thinking I should be in the music industry, work for ESPN, to the entrepreneur and internet marketing specialist I am today. Perhaps the chaos of changes (which I love change) at work recently has caused me to question myself.   Perhaps this "panic" is basically a psychological need for my impending vacation in June?
Don't get me wrong, I am more content in the job and place I call home now.  I just feel like being married to my career drive has hindered me from the possibilities.

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