Decided to delete an old blog started almost 8 years ago. Instead of deleting all posts, I will post many that were needed at different points of my life. Enjoy!
I am currently finishing up a couple of classes due to the clusterfuck U of A has presented which is extremely stressful, and a whole other blog entry in itself.
Anyway, I recently relocated to work as a club promoter in Sin City hoping this job would lead me to the job I am really meant to do. Yeah, that was the Utopian view, but due to getting layed off, fired, whatever the fuck you call it this week, I once again have hit a damn road block in life. Money doesn't drive me in my career (of course I would be lying if money doesn't pay my bills), but love of what I am doing does. Anybody who knows me or reads my Tweets, has probably figured out I fucking love sports and music. I have been passionate about both sports and music throughout my life from my participation in many sports to me becoming a Saxophonist and Steel Drummer. I have figured I am happiest when I am engaging in sports (more specifically NBA or Tennis), and playing the instruments (more specifically my Bari Saxophone). People have consistently told me that I should find a career in either the sports industry or music industry. Well, I have thought to myself, SELF, why can't I find a happy medium between the both?
Oh, right, back to reality. I need to find a job, but being that I live in the state that is currently #1 in unemployment it is easier said than done in the shitty economy we are currently living. Given the nature of the industries I want to be a part of, it is about who you know, not what you know to get your foot in the door, hence the job I had. So this in itself is frustrating since I have goals in life to travel and experience life since you only live once. People have said that they want to help me, which is greatly appreciated, but that has a normal way of not being the right path to choose. Keep in mind, I never expected this to be easy, and I am sure things could somehow be worse, but everybody's life is all relative. Resentment from folks on how lucky I am based on why I have been given doesn't help. I appreciate what I have been given, but I have always felt that I have done things to please others in order to finally achieve what I want in life. It may sound selfish, but really whose life am I living?
Another recent scary thing has presented itself. With the more shit that hits the fan in my life, I am finding it hard to enjoy certain things that make me happy. In fact, I am becoming more a smart ass bitch in some cases. Could be due to the fact I see through the bullshit, and I just want to get the opportunity to express how I feel. Don't get me wrong, I know everybody has their hardships, but I would appreciate seeing the RAW and DARK side of things from folks instead of pretending everything is GRAND.
Perseverance is all well and good if things work out. I have been told that I am extremely persistent with life, well, why do I do it when I can't seem to catch a motherfucking break? I just want to live my life. Apparently, life's a bitch. Any thoughts?